Thank you

So I look back at some of my entries from last quarter and I realize that I know I have been upset and angry and sad before, but I have always had people around me or sports to take my mind off of the feelings of being depressed. Even in the hardest breakup/relationship I have had, I always had something else in my mind that took over so I didn't feel "depressed." This was a blessing. I say this because I have never experienced the true feelings of depression until last qtr. I have never really felt hopeless and helpless until last qtr. I have never REALLY been able to empathize (sp) with anyone about being depressed until last qtr. And the thing that makes it ok...the thing that makes being down and out and hating the world ok at random times is the friends who stand by you and who care. It doesn't matter if they were in the same city, state, or even country as me. I look back and see how much support I have no matter how I feel or what I need and this alone makes me know that I can fall (because people do and always will at some point) and not worry about falling alone.

I am not going to thank any specific people/persons because the great thing about this is that it was many people at many different times always trying to show support and help in their own way and for this I want to tell you all that I love you tons and even if I didnt seem to respond or it seemed like I didnt care...I did. Everything that was said to me and told to me and given to me...it helped more than you will ever know. So thank you for being a friend. True friends show through in good times and bad.

And a side note to J. I know I put you through hell and I know there were times things were said that never should have been and were said out of pain and hurt. It means so much to me that you didnt break. You held strong and stuck by my side while I battled through my breakdown. This shows me your love is real and not just during the good times. This shows me you are not only the love of my life, but truely my best friend. Thank you and I love you.